Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
