I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize