I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
