Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
