Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
