I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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