sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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