It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
