At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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