Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
