forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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