Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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