just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
