If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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