I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
