tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
