Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
