We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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