Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
