In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
