So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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