im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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