: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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