Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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