He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
