dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
