so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
