So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
