that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
