i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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