1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
