Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
