OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
