ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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