Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
