somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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