he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
