Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
