Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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