no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize