i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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