It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
