it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
