Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
