I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
