We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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