I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
