Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
