I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
