I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
