So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
