NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
