Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
