Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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