You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
