and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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