Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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