There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
