you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
